I hope my story
Travels through your bones
Until you see
That my liberation
Is your liberation.
The Heart Word
I see you
Up late at night
Tossing and turning
Pacing and yearning
For a different life.
I see you
Callously emerging
In the light of day
As you laugh away all your wild.
There’s only one problem
And you know what it is.
Once the heart speaks
There is no going back.
-
I lived your life
For so many years
Until one day
I woke up
And I stayed.
And though my voice quivered
And my hands were caked in sweat
Tossing and turning
I stayed.
And though my mind fought it
And my fear almost won
Pacing and yearning
I stayed.
It’s no wonder
That courage is the heart word.
It will drive you to the edge and back again.
It will force you to rattle your own cage until it breaks.
That’s what it takes to live.
A month after Lauren estranges herself from both of her parents, peculiar things start happening in her apartment. Ants multiply and disappear. Moth larvae emerge from beneath her bed and consume everything she owns. Each intrusion is weirder than the next as a series of events that rival the Biblical plagues descends upon Lauren’s home. Is she being punished for leaving her family? Lauren has no idea how that would even be possible, but she is determined to find out.
In this haunting and poignant memoir, a no-nonsense Jewish girl from the Midwest follows the clues to an energy healer, two shamans, and an ex-Catholic nun. As the startling truth is revealed, Lauren finds herself stretching her mind and her beliefs as far as they will go. And then even further.
As Lauren’s journey continues to unfold, she discovers that she is bound to her family in ways that she never could have imagined. Lauren learns that the energy of leaving persists long after we close a door, and the act of moving on is often more complicated than it seems. Now, Lauren must find the courage to go back and face herself and her roots so that she can be truly free.
This is the story of the ghosts who haunt us, and what it takes to confront them.
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The Heart Word
In The Press
Witch Church, with Mallory Hasty
In this powerful episode of Witch Church, Mallory Hasty and Lauren Chava Rose discuss the importance of taking care of our younger self so that we can do brave things. Lauren provides an overview of parts work in therapy and talks about her own experience with parts work as both a client and a therapist. Lauren also discusses the transformational ritual she went through in the storyline of her memoir that helped her younger parts feel safe. If you are looking for a way to connect with your inner child, this episode is for you.